businessin’ about

am loving the lamps i am finally able to make to mke…however am hating the businessy thing that is going about wih them. true am spendin my time on it but its not an original design since ppl r crediting it to me and i am shouting off the rooftops that its not my design…though am selling them too…still not comfortable with the idea of people acrediting the design to me…

14 august spirit

well the d-day is back n with a bang…enjoyed it to bits

hooked

For some time now i seem to be hooked onto old songs …especially those of meena kumari and trying to absorb each and every melancholic and melodious lyrics and music she had been bestowed upon and acted beautifully in…

People usually say that one should not hold grudges against people and should forgive and forget but one doesnt realize as much as it easy to do it, it is as much hard for some people and becomes a mean task for them observe…i know one such individual…meet Owais(thats me:P) … i dont know why…i dont know how and where but i seem to hold grudge every now and then …i have some really bad ones againsts some and i feel totally bad about it…but i cant help it…maybe i expect and trust too much giving the other person power to hurt me or rather use me…mayb that is what that doesnt make the crack go away from the glass when you try to join it back

also surprisingly am not hooked to food these days either

Back HOME

whoever said ‘theres no place like home’ surely knew what they were talking about

second day

Went to the field today…had the same nostalgic sad feeling as before however this time around i felt something was missing. though i knew the hustle bustle of the whole class now though seem to be missing, however the people exuded the same warmth willing to help us out…however something about either this trip,my unfinished work at home or God knows what seem to be out of place…spent more than what i did before seeing things around, i somehow seem to much more interested in helping these people out than focusing on my dissertation…the photographs have turned out pretty good and useable…lets see what happens…i unfortunately didnt submit in that story competition though had a story in mind but anyways will hopefully complete it tonite since i dont seem to be in a rush to sleep…and as the train howls tugging along towards its destination and announcing it from the nearby station, i sit here writing this while listening to surprisingly an english song…which is a rare occasion, it seems to go through my heart and meena kumari from pakeezah echoes in my mind with her dialogue of the train going through her heart…anyways think i’ll play some games before writing the story…

My first train experience

as i peeped out of the window waiting for my first train experience, the hauntingly empty station seemed to loom as if a someone had drenched the soul out of the body. the hustle bustle just a moment ago before the train arrived, was nowhere to be seen, guess that is what happens after a train robs station off its soul to give life to itself. The air conditioner seemed a bit too much but then again it was doing its work of dozin me off…waiting for the train to start i shifted my bag from one leg to another, waiting for my jab we met experience. going through the slums of one of the biggest metropolitan pf the world, as it geared forward, i somehow felt experience of being in the journey talked about by the poets and philosophers. As the train lurched forward moving around it wen through a series of stopping at various stations, everytime it felt like leaving behind a part of me. with no option but to move to the rhythm of the train i dozed off in the rocking cradle. as the train moved on forward i feel like being the passenger of the train of pakeezah passing through meena kumari’s heart giving her hopes of freedom

Movie Recommendations

         

Tug-of-war

There are times in ones life where one is at the receiving end of hostility from another person whom he is a friend to and turns for support, even i have intentionally put people at that end for heir own good, but rarely it is when you come to know the reason of this behaiviour towards you which seems to be that it is deemed as either not to trouble you with things or emotionally detaching u frm them for it would only invite trouble. And it does hurt, like a thousand pincers that you can do nothing absolutely nothing about the situation except to hang on to probably a false hope as to that person would reconcile. As a person who has put many people through the acid test it does seem many dont even survive barring a few who do. But even in those times i have tend to put the intentions behind the facade of being the hostile person to detach people from myself so that they have one less person to care about…but when the person at the receiving end comes to know of the more of the onli half that he is shown, all hell breaks lose for the person who is at the other end. Its like if there are two friends and one is about to die he will make sure that his friend wouldnt remember him after his death but hell breaks lose when that person’s friend comes to know the reason of the strange behaiviour of his friend. The person who has put the other one at the hostile receiving end just because his own life is a mess, as a person who has gone through all this, i can say we are probably no matter how strong we are or pretend to be that we are, we are sort of a bit afraid that someone can stand beside us caring for our troubles as his own for no rhyme or reason. The fear isnt baseless since one does feel what would happened if that person is gone after knowing the reason behind that hostility, or one questions why is this person so kind towards me, though as much as we need that person as a support we tend to be overcomed by our fear which leads to complex situations of other person feeling that you think that this relationship has turned into a burden rather than support which that person is ready to provide at any time. However as i said in my previous post of Need that we all need someone  in our rough patches of life to put our head on and cry our heart out coz we are designed for anything but loneliness…but in those times to people putting others at the hostile end it does become their responsibity as to realize that there are people who can care solely about you at whatever time you need them without any rhyme or reason just because they earned a friend in you and believe in u. One should rather not be dellusioned by the troubles and learn to trust the person at the other end who’s ever extended hand you refuse to take just because of the reason that you believe that you do not want to bother them with your troubles of a messy life…being the person at the receiving end i do know that it is an acid test but as i learned from someone who had his hand extended all the time for me that all you have to do is cling on and have the hope that the person will come around looking for your exteneded hand to just squeeze and cry out all his troubles with that all u have to do is keep it extended with or without any hope just because of a simple reason that you consider that person your friend.

But…

but then again the person who has his hand extended shouldn’t be disappointed at any time of his life that, that person didnt come around for this wasnt a prerequisite you kept for that person before considering him a friend. You should do things without expecting anything in return, be it the return of that person, in this world you won’t find many takers now for such thoughts and you would end up being scarred for the rest of your life thats why do have your hopes, but not great expectations. For if you do end up getting scarred, there is no way, no matter how much you want, you have to move on…

Just that then you’ll stop learning to trust someone just because of one or few people just like the person putting you at the receiving end probably has and the tug-of-war can probably only be stopped by sitting down calmly and talking , crying and screaming out your troubles and problems to each other

A new Beginning… ‘Hope’fully

the new academic semester has passed by me and is now a week old, and seems to be coming and growing onto me. the fun seems to settle in and so do i…jus have to learn to calm down and be social(though i am with everyone but a bit more is needed) … my vacations, well werent that bad considering that i jus loitered around in my apartment home and spent most of the time in my room (for which i have now been labelled a recluse)…The week was fun as i see the drawing come alive in front of my own eyes…the world still seems a pretty wierd place to be and sometimes i wish i pull my hair out because of the sheer madness this world put me into with its double minded, two faced people who change in a blink of a second and then there are people who for some strange rhyme or reason, or without any, are good to you and actually make an effort to minimize your pain and calm you down and listen to you …met one recently while researching and realized about the other one who has been already there…is it their aura or dunno what which just emits such positive vibes that you tend to just want to scream out ur pains to them…lending a listening ear everytime when needed, i wonder who lends them though i try on my behalf to return twice the love am recieving coz for something i am not deserving, it should be returned with interest and sometimes i wonder how to…someday i would definetly like to ask them, why waste time on boosting up a self pitied guy who seems to do nothing but becomes desparingly hopeless about things and cries on petty issues but not on major ones like death…i mean seriously these both ground me atleast…where do you guys get your energy from? whats the secret? couldnt have asked for a better beginning, hopefully all the optimism and positiveness would help me be a better person and the ‘devdas’ and the ‘depressed soul’ though i feel too that i hope it would help me and the change seems to be working a bit since i have opened up to a few people …though still feel wierd in a crowd or a crowded place, a good company and a person beside you with a positive aura makes all the wierdness worthwhile…i dunno what to say coz Thank you doesnt seem to do justice to that and hopefully you guys will continue to calm this wierd piscean who’s freedom is a bit too much to handle even for himself.
On the other front, people say i need to be in a relationship but at this stage i dunt see myself for u need to be in love and attracted to be in a relationship so am very much single, for the time being….will surely shout off the rooftops when i am in a relationship so all you gossipers look out for that (God now it feels like what movie stars feel like)…Ramchand Pakistani has released in cinemas am hopefully wanting to catch that movie either tomm or day after or otherwise next weekend probably along with Kismet Konnection…i still dress ’sloppy’ and ‘wierd’ and not sleekly and in a chic manner but thats what i feel easy going in and as my parents say no parent will give u their daughter’s hand in marriage and then comes endless example of a ‘friend’ of mine or that i dont dress normally …still trying to become immune to things like that…though its hard to pretend that i am
So that was this week ..jus reached home and had food and now writing this post…

P.S. i am also writing a novel but with ivs along it does seem like an endless journey…lets hope that hopefully it will be an interesting one