businessin’ about

am loving the lamps i am finally able to make to mke…however am hating the businessy thing that is going about wih them. true am spendin my time on it but its not an original design since ppl r crediting it to me and i am shouting off the rooftops that its not my design…though am selling them too…still not comfortable with the idea of people acrediting the design to me…

BAck

talk about returning back…being a self confessed user of facebook i cant deny the fact that ignored things here….so am back hopefully for now….the semester eneded was a busy one though…very busy one…and fun too…in one of the assignment wen we had to go to interiors of sindh where it was so touching to see how people in rural areas live life to the fullest and satisfactorily compared to us in the cities…almost fell like i wish i was rich and give’m all for they deserve so much better than what they have and its sad to see they are unable to have everything for they to me seemed much more deserving of better life than us ignorant ones….tch tch tch…another why which doesnt hav an answer…

Tug-of-war

There are times in ones life where one is at the receiving end of hostility from another person whom he is a friend to and turns for support, even i have intentionally put people at that end for heir own good, but rarely it is when you come to know the reason of this behaiviour towards you which seems to be that it is deemed as either not to trouble you with things or emotionally detaching u frm them for it would only invite trouble. And it does hurt, like a thousand pincers that you can do nothing absolutely nothing about the situation except to hang on to probably a false hope as to that person would reconcile. As a person who has put many people through the acid test it does seem many dont even survive barring a few who do. But even in those times i have tend to put the intentions behind the facade of being the hostile person to detach people from myself so that they have one less person to care about…but when the person at the receiving end comes to know of the more of the onli half that he is shown, all hell breaks lose for the person who is at the other end. Its like if there are two friends and one is about to die he will make sure that his friend wouldnt remember him after his death but hell breaks lose when that person’s friend comes to know the reason of the strange behaiviour of his friend. The person who has put the other one at the hostile receiving end just because his own life is a mess, as a person who has gone through all this, i can say we are probably no matter how strong we are or pretend to be that we are, we are sort of a bit afraid that someone can stand beside us caring for our troubles as his own for no rhyme or reason. The fear isnt baseless since one does feel what would happened if that person is gone after knowing the reason behind that hostility, or one questions why is this person so kind towards me, though as much as we need that person as a support we tend to be overcomed by our fear which leads to complex situations of other person feeling that you think that this relationship has turned into a burden rather than support which that person is ready to provide at any time. However as i said in my previous post of Need that we all need someone  in our rough patches of life to put our head on and cry our heart out coz we are designed for anything but loneliness…but in those times to people putting others at the hostile end it does become their responsibity as to realize that there are people who can care solely about you at whatever time you need them without any rhyme or reason just because they earned a friend in you and believe in u. One should rather not be dellusioned by the troubles and learn to trust the person at the other end who’s ever extended hand you refuse to take just because of the reason that you believe that you do not want to bother them with your troubles of a messy life…being the person at the receiving end i do know that it is an acid test but as i learned from someone who had his hand extended all the time for me that all you have to do is cling on and have the hope that the person will come around looking for your exteneded hand to just squeeze and cry out all his troubles with that all u have to do is keep it extended with or without any hope just because of a simple reason that you consider that person your friend.

But…

but then again the person who has his hand extended shouldn’t be disappointed at any time of his life that, that person didnt come around for this wasnt a prerequisite you kept for that person before considering him a friend. You should do things without expecting anything in return, be it the return of that person, in this world you won’t find many takers now for such thoughts and you would end up being scarred for the rest of your life thats why do have your hopes, but not great expectations. For if you do end up getting scarred, there is no way, no matter how much you want, you have to move on…

Just that then you’ll stop learning to trust someone just because of one or few people just like the person putting you at the receiving end probably has and the tug-of-war can probably only be stopped by sitting down calmly and talking , crying and screaming out your troubles and problems to each other

Need

there are times in your life when you need to cry sometimes with a reason and sometimes without…when you feel like as Rose says in titanic you are in a ‘crowded room shouting at the top of my lungs and no one even looks up and the inertia of my life plunging ahead and me powerless to stop it’…you feel like in the spur of the moment the earth splits open and you just become one with it. You want someone to just listen to you tell them whats in your heart without the fear of them judging you or reacting strangely, in such times of crisis you need support from a friend or a partner who can listen to you and console you, We all need someone someone to support us and hold us when we are in a situation where we might collapse any moment, human beings are designed for anything but loneliness and those too busy chasing success when they achieve it they have everything but relationships…what one needs to realize that its the journey thats important not the destination…but that is another story and debate altogether, what i was saying was there are certain times in life where you feel you are all alone and when this loneliness creeps up to you, you tend to make decisions which might alter the course of your life in a direction which you might regret in the later stages of life, you tend to lose your ability to differentiate right from wrong and thus to make matters worse you end up in a situation you did not want to in the first place…the need however is for those people to stick with their friends are partners who are going through a rough patch in their lives and support them and be with them in every way possible lending your shoulder for them to cry on when needed and providing them with shade in the harsh sun of problems…sounds cheesy i know…but what can i say that it all helps that person to a certain extent to retain his sanity and his belief that you are there for him no matter what… might be an acid test for you as to what the hell am i a servant or what that he comes to me letting out his frustrations but then again you didnt choose to be someone’s friend or partner just like that…as rani says Dosti ki hai nibhani to pareygi(you have become friends now, so will have to bear the friendship) also it also becomes a responsibility on your shoulder not to end the relationship and call it to quits, you might be able to move on but the other person banking on you for emotional support might just break down, collapse like life does after meeting death, and the consequences well, they are better left unsaid…coz it might be worse than you can imagine

The Course Of Morality

Morality, what is it, some describe it as the way of life while some credit it as the understanding of the right and wrong but who determines what is right and wrong…sure there are standards but who determines them, and who determines those who determine those standards…the course of morality is very subtle. what might be right for one person may not hold the same value for the next depending in what situation and what place you stand at. An extra-marital affair might become right if you are the one who is involved in cheating but not when you are the one who is cheated… i have seen many people do that, what might be wrong for others according to them becomes right the instant they are faced with a similar situation. why is it tha people cannot stay on their word for i have known people go back on their word, which they have sweared and are convinced about totally and believe in, and then regard it as simply put their mistake coz people tend to change…yes i agree but why dont they stay firm on their word? are they too scared to be confronted with the same situation? or they dont believe the decision so strongle as they make it out to be in front of people?  but again when seeing it other light one tends to see that some of it is intentional while other isnt…its all from which perspective one is seeing it…and despite the fear being labelled bad or undecided or anything like that they go with it probably because they do not have a way out which others and people around them fail to see and forget that Rani said in her movie humtum that ‘people arent bad, bad are the times befall’…i agree no one is bad from the time of birth it is the situations that person is put in to which he reacts in a certain way which is then labelled ‘bad’ by the world…but that person is not accountable to anyone…anyone at all except for himself and those people who are related to his decision or response and that again also varies from situation to situation where people related to certain decision do not have to be told or given justification of any of the decisions e.g. a person is dying therefore in an effort so that many people dont remeber him after he is dead and be sad he is rude to everyone or if a friend fears that his friend at one point might have to make a choice where he would be in a situation ehre he would have to choose between him and other friend then before hand that friend becomes rude to that person because if the relationship ends he wouldnt have any problems or be at crossroads wondering where to go as the phrase goes ’sometimes you have to be bad to people for their own good’ but then again that good is how you see it and not the other person so it does remain a question is it really good and justifiable to that person who does not even know that for what ‘good’ is he being treated ‘badly’

Phew! that felt good…all thanks to Ghazal for introducing me to the world of blogging

Strange are the ways of this world

well the world has always seemed to be a a very starnge place to begin with…i have been pondering over this question since my birth, i am actually one of the few who was pondering the same this as to what this world is therefore did not cry when was born unlike people who express their displeasure immediately of entering this world by crying coz they couldnt do much about it after they have entered unless they acquire some knowledge of this world and decide to end their lives when they come to realization of this world being a wierd place. Yea so where was i, yea apologies for blabbering but when it comes to writing i let my fingers do the talking… the world is a strange place to begin with, with its set ideas and notions, the moulds which are set by a society or a number of people with similar ideas bbut what if someone from amongst them wants to break this mould, he is sidelined, laughed upon, mocked, made fun of, taunted and all that eventually would get to that person in one way or the other. The person would either kneel down to the command of others and do whatever others want or in the process of continuing to do what he wants eventually will go mad for this world wouldn’t let him live or die. the need for the quest to find the answer is that why is it that ice’s destiny to melt into its own water…if it is then why it is said people can change their destinies…the answer lies in the circumstances. every human being responds to the circumstances he or she is put in for these circumstances are the one which decide their fate and their destiny according to their responses towards something. how to respond is in hands of the person. but no matter how much a person ignores the barking world out there it affects that person in one way or the other. in ignoring the outer world his inner world becomes a rage, a storm of emotional tides in which the tsunamis of lonliness disable him to do much (read the lonliness post for more) and therefore instead of people accepting whoever and however that person is the person is squashed under the giant foot of set rule book of the society, if he succeeds, then he is remembered or else has his grave in just another corner of some gloomy old graveyard alone and silent suffering in the same way as he did during his life. Whoever u are you should accept people around you as who they are afterall knowing a certain fact about someone doesnt and shouldn’t alter your perception of that person for example if am friends with a person and a few years later he comes to me and says he is gay i’ll be like yea watever for it doesnt and wouldnt change the type of person that person is what would upset me is the amount of time and confidence he would take on the trust he would have on me but then again i wouldn’t be for that person would have had enough troubles to handle if he came out vocally or if a person who has studied science and wants to pursue arts parents should be willing to encourage rather than just let the person face and take the trouble that comes with the choice he wants to make happily turning it into a nightmare…in both the situations the person shouldn’t be outcasted of society just because you dont think it is ‘normal’ or that person is ‘different’ if you do, well then don’t expect that person to listen to you when you are in need of help and if that person does listen, you let go off someone whom you shouldn’t have…indeed the world has some strange ways of living created by its inhabitants

Loneliness

a shocking moment for us when time stands still, the moment we come to realize what we have been in this world for so long…alone. Framily and friends leave us alone, abandon us betray us and won’t be back. Or has it been us who have moved a few steps back from these relationships. whatever the case may be in the end we are left all alone by ourselves. Of course some see great value in going alone. The weakest ones either take to drinking or suicide, the remainder, well they have their own story to tell…it is these lonely momonets that either they began new unlikely relationships regardless of anyone understanding it. With one hand desperate in need and other willing to lend a helping hand, when such kindness is offered, one just grabs the opurtunity which causes them to realize to see the worth of those who were just written off. It is in these make-believe relationships what the lonely rely on and heavily count on and no one knows that better than the lonely. Or either they simply go, what the normal world would say, mad. a perspective which is really worth delving into. A person for some odd rhyme or reason deliberately steps back from relationships which he fears might lead to people being hurt or simply sometimes out of misery people do not take care of themselves and as a result life shoots them down like an arrow to wood. Splinters that fly in every direction stab their friends without any hesitation and make the ones they love just as miserable as them. Left alone, the person does not befriend anyone let alone trust. Doesn’t share his troubles, pains, angst with anyone believing in the fact that though hapinness doubles when shared so does sorrow for you just make the other person worry about you which might affect them in one way or other. Later stops even trusting himself and in this confused and dire state all he is doing is clinging on what others persisitently believe in him and jus keeps going on. Alone he starts hallucinating, seeing different things around and go, what the normal world calls, MAD. Now does the person goes ‘mad’ just because he is seeing things. i don’t think so. He is called ‘mad’ because he sees things ‘normal’ people don’t. then do they have a right to condemn his reality just because they cant see it? let me give you an example. what do you see right in front of you? for example if you are reading this on a computer you see a monitor right in front of you. But i see a printer here. What if every other person entering the room sees a printer. would you still see a monitor? then who’s reality is more real? yours or theirs? the person who is left alone or a person who has left someone alone…think…