Grandeur Loneliness

 

The price fame usually is seen to come out in the form of grandeur loneliness

Installation by me
Photocredits: Ghazal

happy song

everyone should have a happy song, one that feuls u up when u r low n makes u smile when u r sad…it may change n it may not

mine these days is title track of movie dil bole hadippa…
heres the promo of the song

Love…again

my last post on love discussed in parts how love can make a person strong beyound one’s imaginable nature…thinking upon this idea what i recently encountered goes on to turn this idea 180 degrees around…love actually makes you weaker compared to one’s popular notion of it making you stronger…true love makes you stronger but that is against the society trying to supress it but with two ppl sharing that love it, in the long run goes on to make one of them atleast, weak n helpless. loving someone who then stops loving you definetly puts one in an awkward position esp. when one is in a relationship…moving on, yes, is a possibility but then that takes on every person’s ability to handle the emotional trauma…for example couples who elope, when one of them starts having an extra marital affair the other one suffers coz that person is in love with the not so faithful partner and can’t help it…nor can leave the other person….causing in turn them to be in a helpless position suffering the punishment of mistake they never made but got caught up in…guess you cant leave it on love alone, you have to work on making a relationship work

Stranded

from the past few days i have been wanting to write this post but everytime i rejected the notion of doing so for an unknown reason…i seemed to be stuck between a place between happiness and sadness…am unable to pin point why is this happenin or what caused it…motivation sometimes doesn’t help either resulting in a miserable state of wanting and unwanting of things…from people around me and their problems and their seemed aura affecting me too, i feel like i desperately need to pull myself out of the dumps of depression while in the early stages for i know how serious i can get…even my happy song isnt able to help me at times…seems like it is true that its your mood that sets the environment rather than other way round…possibly it is also the affect of heavy emotional readings i have been doing from the likes of revolutionary road and the reader…hopefully am able to gather myself and pull myself out back to the happy dappy crazy self, which i would want to

P.S. not enjoying much the interior design assignment…we were better off designing with a source ourselves…

My first train experience

as i peeped out of the window waiting for my first train experience, the hauntingly empty station seemed to loom as if a someone had drenched the soul out of the body. the hustle bustle just a moment ago before the train arrived, was nowhere to be seen, guess that is what happens after a train robs station off its soul to give life to itself. The air conditioner seemed a bit too much but then again it was doing its work of dozin me off…waiting for the train to start i shifted my bag from one leg to another, waiting for my jab we met experience. going through the slums of one of the biggest metropolitan pf the world, as it geared forward, i somehow felt experience of being in the journey talked about by the poets and philosophers. As the train lurched forward moving around it wen through a series of stopping at various stations, everytime it felt like leaving behind a part of me. with no option but to move to the rhythm of the train i dozed off in the rocking cradle. as the train moved on forward i feel like being the passenger of the train of pakeezah passing through meena kumari’s heart giving her hopes of freedom

The fool in me…

I must learn to love the fool in me – the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laught and cries.It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool.” – Theodore Isaac Rubin

a long long time ago…

its been almost two months since i posted anything on the blog, was it laziness or was it not being able to filter down my thoughts to be penned down on the paper or rather typed onto the computer i dunno…maybe there are so many thoughts and things going around in mind that filterin and organizing those thoughts seems like the most difficult thing to do. Two months…well met a few very interesting, diverse intellectuals through this course of life…got to learn new things, hopes, aspiration, life stories, ppl living their life to the fullest, those striking the right balance between things, some caring, some valueing themselves and inspiring me to do the same…hope i do continue to keep in touch with them…seems like am losing touch with some of those whom i held close once … slipping away like sand yet leaving behind the feeling of being in contact with them… the Hopeful beginning hasnt been as hopeful as i thought but hasnt been bad either…midway into it and around 5 weeks to go i think it was an interesting journey,but then again it wouldnt be worth it if it wasnt hard…Am so having second thoughts about my degree of textile design since fine arts is where my heart lies but then again i enjoy doing every bit of it…maybe will combine the two (i do try to though) but it is waited to be seen how that turns up since i hope that the oppurtunity is just arriving around the corner… wanting to discover myself through art is something i am wanting to embark upon and i do try to do that through my work but then again proimarily i would like to do it n focused on it clearing out things in my mind and creating things solely for myself …on the interesting bit an astrologer claimed love wud be entering my life and i had two extreme reactions to that …’finally’ and ‘yea rite’ lets see what happens there:P…a few more names added onto the list of people who all me pessimists and urge me to value myself which does seem sort of absurd to me since i tend to like to believe am much more of a realist than a pessimist…but then again perspective of looking at things does matter too in the context where one calls me pessimist…ending this post i wud say that it was definetly a needed post to boost myself up for writing again

We all need Someone…

Just thought of sharing this piece of writing…

We All Need Someone by Rich Clingman, May, 1980

 

It seems in the world today
We’re afraid to be involved

In the lives of others,
Even those whom we love.

 

When their hard times come
The only thing we’ll say

Is, “Pray to the Lord,”
And then we’ll walk away.

 

 

Or maybe we have the answers
That work every time for sure,

The quick remedy
Or the ready-made cure,

 

But what they need is someone
Just to be near,

To take some time,
To lend a listening ear.

 

 

We all need someone we can talk to.
 We all need someone who’ll be there.

We all need someone we can lean on.
We all need someone who’ll care.

 

Have you ever needed
Just to be heard?

Not seeking advice,
Nor a positive word?

 

Have you said, “If someone will listen
To what I have to say,

Then maybe a change
Will come my way”?

 

 

There are others here today
Who think the same as you.

If you’ll listen to them,
Well, maybe they will listen, too.

 

If you’ll give your love to others
Then they will love you back.

Let’s help each other
In the things that we lack.

 

 

We all need someone we can talk to.
 We all need someone who’ll be there.

We all need someone we can lean on.
We all need someone who’ll care.

 

Won’t you take a minute
To think about what you’ve heard?

Just look a little longer
It’s written in God’s Word.

 

Get involved in lives of others,
Take a minute to understand

The troubles they’re in.
Won’t you lend a helping hand?

 

 

You will be amazed
At the difference it can make,

The ear you lend
And the time that you take

 

Can help someone so greatly!
The love you’ll show today

Can help them in their walk,
Get them headed back the right way.

 

 

We all need someone we can talk to.
 We all need someone who’ll be there.

We all need someone we can lean on.
We all need someone who’ll care.

 

We all need someone who’ll care.

 

Won’t you be that someone who’ll care?

A semester gone by…

a semester went by…new environment…old friends…new enemies i seem to have all theatrical possibilities occuring in my life throughout the whole semester…the semester strangely made me a bit grown up as i experienced life as never before. old people, new faces…some friendly some not so…experienced the star plus politics in my life…nevertheless it took me time to settle in as usual…as far as my work is concerned, wasnt satisfied much with my own work prolly coz i was learning about my flaws with new things that were introduced to us…and advanced stages of some things old…coming in this new environment i missed that spark i had towards my work  throughout the semester,(though it did come back during tie and dye and my electives) but missed that alot seemed like that excitement got lost somewhere amongst the busyness of the work or probablyy coz was getting settled into this new environment…the thing that probably resulted was probably some of the people who turned me off and me being the wierd one who’s buttons are pushed easily by people and who lets people get him easily well, seems like i did…but then again admist of all this i think no one else but i am to blame for everything that happened and am just being like that person who despite knowing that its his mistakes blames others just for the satisfaction of heart maybe…nevertheless am reviving myself back again and seems like the excitement is coming back again…and this time one promise i wont let those some people get to me atleast for in this world one has to guard oneself from the arrows of people with a smile…lets see how far i succeed in doing so…God help me…seems like i need to have or rather produce thoda pyaar thoda magic in my life for that added spark i need…

Stories

Stories…every life every individual has one and is one in itself. Every life is a story and stories are as old as time itself. ‘The prodigal son who returns home to the father who forgives him. The jealous wife who tricks the husband who trusts her, the desperate mother who risks everything for the child who needs her, and the faithless husband who hurts the wife who loves him so deeply. Why do we listen again and again? Because these are the stories of family, and once we look past the fighting, pain and the resentment, we occasionally like to remind ourselves there is absolutely nothing more important’ but the stories which rise above others and make an impact are the ones which rise above the stories of family. True that is important but question is how much? and there are no stories without questions. Millions of people around us, everyone a story within himself has a million questions in himself which are either waiting to be asked or answered. Everyone of us, with all this, just quietly move on, coz we tend to believe in sayings like ‘ the show must go on’.. each one with our world waiting to burst up are constantly in a search of someone. Someone you can call a friend who can listen to you talk or listen to your silence coz sometimes silences should be heard too. But then again what i would recall from my experience you encounter people or rather ‘friends’, some of who go back and contradict their own words and some who never utter any in time of need or when expected to. Having a friend or partner is very important for at the end of the day you need someone whom you can shout upon all your troubles and who can take up all the shit you shout upon and still hug you when you are dead angry on that person for trouble is part of your life, and if you don’t share it, you don’t give the person who loves you enough chance to love you enough. We all need someone.. someone to rely on and in return would want to do the same to that person, listen to shit crap whatever is being shouted upon and still be able to hug that person just for the heck of it. But then again when you get so close to a person you give that person the power to hurt you, and this power is used to its fullest extent when it is needed but its upto you how much you get hurt though gettin through unscathed is not what life is and that depends on how emotionally attached you were to that person and the extent you would have gone for that person…one jus needs to look around in the surrounding jus to recognize the person who can be a potential candidate for your friend but as i mentioned in my earlier post HOPE you do not find such people that easily and as far as am concerned, well people say you can’t just blame everyone jus because you were ‘betrayed’ by one friend well in answer to that i wud say that with a few experiences past you, you can’t either help closing your heart to people for you are hurt and cant help being a cold hearted person for tearless grief bleeds inwardly and therefore you need an outlet to channel your anger and sadness through some means therefore you tend to hurt yourself and be mean to yourself, your relationships and people around you if u cannot channel it on that one person